Next, a moment of silence—just a suggestion, to one of our readers’ favorite discussion points, Alex Rodriguez. And about three hundred moments of silence, as a suggestion, to White Sox manager, Ozzie Guillen. I’m not saying that I am totally sick of hearing these guys whine in the press. I am just saying it’s time for the inevitable next step—a pay-per-view mud-wrestling match. After all, mud wrestling is the logical progression—from mud slinging.
I wonder what Ozzie Guillen’s take on Alfonso Soriano is, considering the player’s moaning about moving to left for the Nationals. I think Jim Bowden should trade Soriano to the White Sox. Ozzie and Alfonso can appear on Dr. Phil together, and get some tough love answers to their mouth-running problems.
Bengie Molina could make a guest appearance.
Will Barry Bonds retire? This year, next year, or ever? Hats off to Barry for staying, as he puts it, “fat”. Sure, as many people think that Barry did steroids as thought O.J. was guilty. But that doesn’t mean he did them.
There hasn’t been one test yet that indicated Bonds did steroids. If anyone would be fun for major league baseball to bust, and prove that they were serious about drug testing, it would be Barry. Since when hasn’t any possible accusation or “hate-in-general” been thrown Bonds way? But still he marches on towards the all time homer record. OK, he doesn’t march—it’s a much more painful shuffle. But the point is the same—if he was guilty, they would have busted him.
If baseball had a designated runner, like in some beer-drinking softball leagues, Bonds would hit 1200 homers. We should be appreciating the stellar player he has always been—and not sticking microphones in his face where he and the press can get a chance to ruin the romantic image we could have had of the finest ball player of our generation.
And while there is a fair buzz about Bonds beating Ruth and Aaron, there’s hardly a whisper about Jimmy Rollins being 20 games shy of Joe Dimaggio’s 64 game hit streak. Should it even count, being split into two seasons’ play? Isn’t the idea that the long grind of the season makes this impossible? It will be interesting to see if this becomes an issue.
Finally, a nod to one of my Strat players, Barry Zito. He’s 26, has never missed a start, won a Cy Young, and in his free agent year. He had a streak last year where he went 8-0 with a 2.33 ERA.
If he has a whole year like that, rumor is that Toronto will give him a five year contract for a ga-jillion dollars a year.
And Barry is just spacey enough to think that a ga-jillion is a real number.
Word to Toronto: throw in a ten pack of incense and a new guitar, and you’ve got a deal.